


Hammer & Michel

by SamoShampioni



Category: German Pop Music RPF, Music RPF, Pop Music RPF, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Gen, German Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-20 23:58:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1530485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamoShampioni/pseuds/SamoShampioni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jan Delay was no stranger to controversy. But one time, he went too far.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hammer & Michel

Jan Delay was no stranger to controversy. Just a few days ago he had bashed the music of Germany's newest sweetheart, the schlager singer Helene Fischer, causing her fans to come out in full force to defend her. The same happened again when he had bashed the lead singer of Die Toten Hosen, Campino, for being on too many talk shows. Jan didn't care much. After all, it was the best way to draw attention to himself and his album, right?  
But one time, he went too far. An offhanded comment in an interview in Austria, comparing the singer Heino to the Nazis. A ridiculous statement, everyone knew that. The publicity stunt backfired spectacularly. The German public didn't take kindly to this disgraceful attack on an old man. Both fans of Heino and those who did not particularly like his music were enraged, and took to the internet, particularly Jan's Facebook page, to vent their frustration, to defend their idol from these attacks. Thousands and thousands of comments appeared. The German media was having a field day with this story. Jan Delay's album fell from the number one spot to out of the charts completely. The song 'St. Pauli', which had been enjoying a lot of radio play recently, was never heard on the radio again, along with all of Jan's other songs. A public CD burning was held in Rote Flora in Jan's hometown of Hamburg. Everything was out of control, a media shitstorm that he had created but could not stop. And to make things worse for him, Heino had called the lawyers.  
Jan's friend Marteria had just come back from helping charities in Africa, and was shocked by the shitstorm he had walked back in to. He told Jan that he had to stop it, but by then it was already too late.  
"There's no stopping it now, Marten," Jan sighed, "It's all out of control."  
"Then, you will just have to ride it out," Marteria said, "Good luck. You can do it. Things won't seem as bad in a weeks time, or in a months time even. There'll be some other news story, and this will all be old news by then."  
"I hope you're right."

\---

But, unfortunately for Jan, he wasn't right. The backlash was out of control. Most of the 'Hammer & Michel' CDs that were still in the shops had to be taken to various landfill sites throughout the country, as no one wanted to buy them anymore. The hate campaign, rather than getting smaller over time, grew and grew. Coupled with the fact that he had still not apologised to Heino properly, even when given a platform on the ZDF show 'Aspekte', made the situation even worse. The rest of Beginner began to distance themselves from him. Marteria told Jan to apologise to Heino properly, but he refused.  
"Come on Jan! Just apologise! Why do you have to be so bloody stubborn!?" Marteria sighed, as the two of them looked at the TV, to see ARD still reporting about Jan's verbal attack on Heino. Jan didn't have an answer for that.

\---

It was early in the morning the next day and Jan Delay was alone in a park in Hamburg. He needed some time to think. What was the best way to handle this situation? Surely there must be a way. Suddenly he was interrupted by a deep voice from behind him.  
"Well, of all the people I had to run into, it just had to be you, didn't it, Herr Delay?"  
Jan spun around, to find a man standing there, with his red jacket and his trademark dark sunglasses. The very man he had offended. Heino. Rather than looking angry, he looked quite pleased with himself.  
"I would slap you," Heino continued, "But I would only be lowering myself to your level."  
Jan just stood there, shocked and silent. This annoyed Heino.  
"What's wrong?!" Heino yelled, "Don't want to speak to me! You had a lot to say for yourself in that interview of yours though, didn't you?!"  
"Uh... um..." Jan couldn't think of anything to say, no words came out. Heino just had to laugh. This truly was a pathetic display.  
"Well?! I don't even get an apology?!" Heino boomed, "You're pathetic!"  
"Uh... uh... sorry..." Jan mumbled.  
"Whatever," Heino grinned, "This is your mess now, the public have seen you for who you really are. I don't have to do anything."  
Jan didn't say anything, and Heino just laughed again. This truly was a pathetic display on Jan's part.  
"I have nothing else to say to you," Heino said, and with that Heino walked right back out that park again, leaving Jan alone once more.

\---

"You mean to say you didn't even apologise when he was standing right in front of you?!" Marteria said, in disbelief.  
"I... uh... I guess..."  
"You are un-bloody-believable, you know that, Jan? Unbelievable!"  
That was true. And what was also true was that, in the particular battle, Heino had come out on top. There was no denying that. Heino had well and truly won.


End file.
